streets wanting to get out of there as quick as I could. A sad world we live
in with so much hurt everywhere you look and nobody wanting to do
anything about it, just accepting the hopelessness of never being able to
achieve anything more than what our civilization has succumbed to.
Being among one of those people, we were similar in so many ways.
Only separated by our own personal fears and the different direction they
pulled us into.
I drove straight through the open gates at the entrance to the complex
and parked on the gutter in front of Ritchie' s block of units. A crowd of
people stood outside the blocks I was entering. Being hit on and offered
drugs simultaneously my cheeks went flush and I put my head down not
saying a word. Walking up the corridors of the staircase looked like a
scene out of a horror flick. Graffiti covered the peeling of green paint on
the walls and the pungent stench of something rotting, only to the worst
of my imagination, filled my nostrils. I could hear babies screaming
through the thin walls and trying to find the unit number was difficult
from the sporadic flickering of the fluorescent lights above me.
At last I found Ritchie' s one, quite astonished with myself that I even
made it this far. I had to knock loudly on the door a few times before a
young girl answered the door with eyeliner bleeding down from her eyes,
her jet black hair was strung out and a mess and she looked off her face
on some hard drug. She had only her bra and a short skirt on to cover her
private areas and a cigarette hung out of her mouth to complete the full
picture of terrible state she was in. She looked me down with contempt
and snubbed at me " What do you want?" I maintained my politeness and
told her T. J was expecting me. She opened the door and walked away,
leaving me by myself to venture through looking for T. J.
Passing through the kitchen it looked like a hospital lab with syringes on
the counter tops and medicine containers lying around everywhere.
Minding my steps through the dirty house, I walked to the back to the
living room and found T.J in a K -Hole strung out on a filthy couch.
Hey ... there" he acknowledged me with a giant smile spread across his
face. He probably didn' t even know who I was from the dreadful state he
was in. My first look at him in months and I was in utter shock. My jaw
must have dropped to the floor at the very sight of him. Never seeing him
so skinny and unhealthy looking I took pity and wanted to help him
before things got even worse and he ended up like Adam, dead.
T. J, hey buddy its Jenna, remember I was coming to pick you up
today. You don' t look so good, what are you doing so messed up?" I
don' t think he could even understand what I was even saying because he
could only reply by giggling and rolling over, patting the couch as if it
were a fluffy animal. I stood over him now and raised my voice so he' d
know 1 was serious and snap out of it a bit. "Get Up T. J, Now!" I ushered
at him to get off the couch, repeating myself a few times over and with no
response I knew I had to get physical. Rolling him back over to face me
again I smacked his face hard and I' m sure it stung but I got the reaction I
had wanted. He sat up and looked at me confused.
At least now he was able to focus on my words requesting him to come
with me. He was getting up from the couch and stumbling around before
falling down to the floor again. Putting his arm around my neck and
carrying the majority of his weight, I helped him up many times over and
down three flights of stairs into my truck and drove him back to my
place. It was a triumph on it' s own arriving downstairs in one piece.
Being the only person who really cared if T.J lived or died I felt like the
responsibility of helping him was my concern alone.
Thankfully Jeffrey was in Palm Beach for the next couple weeks
entertaining royalty, which gave me a little time to try and clean T. J tip. I
called a few of his friends that I knew and asked them not to score any
101
102
J Copyright 1' rotootod Material Copyright Protected Material
CONI' IDLN'rUA GIUFFRE004234 CONFIDENTIAL GI1JFFRL004235
drugs for him any more, pleading with them and telling all of them he
was on the brink of death, reminding them of the friendship between us
all that once existed before the drugs corrupted so many of us. Some of
them laughed at me telling me I was wasting my time with T. J and others
were nice enough to at least lie to my face politely and promise not to
help him feed his addiction.
I just wanted to remedy all of his pain and problems but I felt so
helpless fighting his battle against the streets. I bought some marijuana
for him to smoke hoping to subside the withdrawals he was facing over
the next few days but with no avail. The only thing that would help him
was my Xanax, a few of those pills and he would go back to sleep, only
waking up to get more of them. I would have to force him out of bed to
have a shower once a day and make sure he ate something. He was more
like a baby right now than he was a boyfriend, too much in need of
something I couldn' t give.
Chapter 17
When 1 went to see Jeffrey over the next course of days he picked out
the dilemma I wore spread across my face straight away. " Your back with
T.J aren' t you" It was so funny that he knew me so well. " Yeah, he' s in a
real bad place in his life right now and needs my help." He looked
astonished and replied, " You' re a much better friend than I am, I know
people like him and trust me they never change, no use in even trying" I
believed him too knowing I was stupid for even attempting to change T. J,
but my heart felt differently, he was still a human being and a good friend
of mine just down at his worst. " That' s what good friends are for" I
laughed back at his remark, not wanting to take this conversation too
much further. " I admire your loyalty at least, but take my word for it, he
will hurt you again." His words were chilling but true, I had to find out
for myself though.
Almost seeming like an actual friend for a second he ruined his brief
momentary image by turning over from the unfinished massage that I was
giving to him and acquired his sexual longings from my worn down soul.
Not only did he know that I didn' t want to endure any more demands
tonight, but his energy enhanced from knowing it too. Looking up at him
during the foreplay, it was an easy observation from the took in my eyes
that I hated every minute of it, seething through all of my duties until he
climaxed.
Most days I could take this kind of treatment, it was only seldom I
couldn' t hold in the way Jeffrey disregarded my feelings. He had me just
where he wanted me, like a pawn piece on a checkers board I was his
own personal sex slave. For the remainder of the evening I stayed quiet,
not sure of what to say after an episode like that. It was a vigorous
display of how calumniating he could really be. He required me to clean
up his spilled semen off of his genitals with a wet warn washcloth before
he retired to his bedroom for a good night' s sleep. Only a monstrous
creep could sleep easy at night knowing what pain he caused others.
I went downstairs and asked Juan, who was still in the kitchen to pay
me for the evening telling him that Jeffrey had gone to sleep for the night.
It wasn' t an unusual request. Juan would often have to fix up " the girls"
after the sessions and sometimes even drive them home. He went to
Jeffrey' s desk and underneath was his duffel bag that always held
insurmountable bundles of crisp hundred dollar bills. He took out two for
me and handed them over. I thanked him and said goodnight, as I was
always polite to Juan and his wife, Maria. His eyes were gentle and told
me more than what he was allowed to say. I understood well. We all
needed to eat and pay bills unfortunately even sometimes at our own
moral expense.
Putting the keys into the ignition I started up the engine and reversed out
of Jeffrey' s driveway with promptness. I didn' t want to be there a
moment longer than I had to. Not much to look forward too getting back
to my apartment either, I needed some time to filter my emotions.
Parking my truck in front of a nearby beach I took my shoes off gradually
stepping out of the door into the fog. I walked down to the edge of the
sand where the water licked at my toes. My life was slipping away from
me and I was really beginning to question the difference between living
and dying. I was so tired of everything, my whole existence revolved
around being everything to everyone, forgetting about being something
for myself altogether. Pretending to be someone else became an attribute
I was better than good at, probably much of why Jeffrey liked me in the
first place. This time I held back my tears back and only let the anger
fester into a deep pit in my stomach. My rage was aimed at the very
people who abandoned me to fend for myself in the first place and
accepted this life as normal for me, my parents.
When 1 got back to my apartment I was expecting to have to look after
T. J, but to my surprise he had come around good that night. He greeted
me at the door and asked how my evening was. " It was all fine" I easily
lied. I never let anyone inside close enough to see my vulnerabilities.
They were mine alone to battle. In my head they were too shameful to
103
104
I Copyright P --, d Material li Copynght Protected Material
CONI' IDENTIAL GIUFFRE004236 CONFIDENTIAL ( AUF 81,004237
talk about anyways. He wanted to talk about something else anyways.
Sitting me down at the dining room table he began his spiel. "
I know you
don' t think much of me anymore, how could you? I' m a junkie who
steals and sells drugs for a living, but I promise that' s all going to change
now. Adam is dead because of me and the only way I can make it up to
him is to get away from it all. I promise things are going to get better." It
was a convincing talk, but I knew him all too well. His demon inside
yearned for him to fail but who was I to second-guess him out loud, I
could only try to give him hope. " No one is perfect T.J. At least you' re
trying now and that' s all that matters to me. I am so proud of you." I gave
him a sincere hug and kissed him for the first time in a long time, " I love
you," he said to me and I returned my love back. We slept in the same
bed together that night and were officially back on together.
Two days later I was gone again, beckoned to be in Santa Fe. Ghislane
only told me that I was to meet someone there, not sure of whom that
was. It wasn' t my place to ask questions. As far as I knew it could be
anyone and I had no choice but to be compliant to their needs. It was the
middle of the day when I arrived at the airport. One of the ranch hands
came to pick me up in a big work truck that smelled like dirt and sweat
but I didn' t mind that' s what I loved about the countryside.
When we arrived at the mansion my guest was already there waiting for
me. I couldn' t wipe the look off my face as he turned around from the
bookshelf that he was standing at. " Hello" that same old cheesy grin
greeted me once again. It was his highness Prince Andrew, and what a
sight. He wrapped his arms around my waist and greeted me like an old
friend. I hugged him back rolling my eyes at the same time, already
dreading what lay in store over the next couple of days. My job was to
entertain him endlessly, whether that meant having to bestow him my
body during an erotic massage or simply take him horseback riding. For
the next couple of days he was to be my only concern, but he wasn' t. I
called in checking on T. J a few times a day, not wanting to be a nag but
just hoping he hadn' t had any thoughts about relapsing. He was doing
great, even applying for a couple jobs. Being reassured by him made my
time away less complicated and thankfully with the help of my ever -
ready Xanax I was able to cope with the ordeal.
The mansion was completely empty save a couple of maids who also
cooked our dinners for us, and a couple bodyguards that we hardly even
saw at all. The time dragged by slowly for me as I was counting down the
hours until l flew away again, anywhere but here I thought. It wasn' t easy
meeting the sexual desires of these strange men, the Prince being one of
them. He loved my feet and even licked in between my toes. Then there
was the lack of passion in the intimacy we shared, to him I was just
another girl and to me he was just another job. Not the right reasons to be
together but I thought in this world and to these monsters, there didn' t
need to be a reason. To them it' s nothing but a reenactment of their
personal fantasies. To me it was a living nightmare.
Thankfully one of Jeffrey' s assistants from New York called me on my
cell phone early in the morning on the second day to fill me in on my
next adventure. I had a flight booked for me to leave that afternoon to
arrive at La Guardia airport in the evening_ Even though 1 had to go back
to yet another controlling man, I was still relieved. At least i was used to
the confinements of Jeffrey' s control and in some twisted way he was
more comforting than these strangers he sent me to. Overlooking the city
of New York as the plane landed felt like 1 was flying from one cage to
another. Entrapped by falling victim to the predators that lured me into
their enclosure. I didn' t know how I would ever get out again. That deep
pit in my stomach began to churn again, a physical reaction to the anxiety
I was plagued with. Before getting off the plane I touched up my makeup
to hide any signs of the frailty I was feeling.
Jo -Jo met me at the arrival terminal and picked up my luggage for me.
He never said much at all, nodding to any reciprocating conversation. I
don' t think he could really speak that good of English anyways. It was
better for me as I preferred the quietness for the moment. He opened the
back door for me and we headed off for my next prison cell. When we got
to Jeffrey' s mansion on 72"', the place looked empty. 1 walked up the
staircase to Jeffrey' s office and he wasn' t there. Feeling a bit hungry 1
walked back down to where the kitchen was. I opened the fridge and
found some leftovers that Adam, Jeffrey' s chef, had cooked. I loved his
cooking, when it wasn' t filled with beansprouts and tofu. He used to
make me the best pizza upon request, or whenever he was cooking
seafood, which he knew I hated. He had an honest appeal about him and
never even took notice when on many occasions us girls would be
prancing around topless, sometimes even stark naked around the pool or
beach. He would have to serve us our meals and would do it with such a
casual professionalism, never making anyone uneasy at any occasion.
Half way through my meal the kitchen doors swung open and incoming
was Jeffrey and Ghislane. Choking down my bite of food down, I got up
from my seat and kissed them both on the cheeks. " Hi guys, how are
you?" I greeted them and Ghislane answered for them both " Good, good.
Sit down and finish your meal, don' t let us interrupt you." I hated eating
alone in front of people, chewing food and maintaining a conversation at
the same time didn' t give off the best look. " I was just finishing anyways,
can I get you guys anything, maybe a tea or something?" Always playing
my part, another reason to keep me around I guess, I went beyond the call
of duty and after the last period with them, I had been reminded of my
place. " Yes, I' ll take a one" Ghislane stated. " Jeffrey how about you,
105
106
Copyright Irotected Matc ial
CONFIDENTIAL
Copyright Protected Material
GIUFFRE004238 CONFIDENTIAL GIUFFRE004239
anything I can get for you?" I asked again and he answered, " No thanks,
we just ate and I' m still full" and they sat down together on the stools at
the kitchen bench.
I got out the shiny red kettle from the cupboard, knowing my way all
too well around the kitchen and put it over the hot stove plate. Turning
around to face them, I thought they were acting peculiar. " So..." Ghislane
started the conversation, " How was the ranch with the Prince?" It was a
natural reaction for me to blush, knowing exactly what she was referring
too. Keeping busy preparing her cup of tea and avoiding eye contact with
both of them I started to unpack the counter where I had been eating, " I
think he had a really good time, he seemed relaxed during the trip and
when we said good- bye to each other he gave me a kiss." I went on to tell
them what we did together " I took him horseback riding, nowhere to far
just around the property, um... we went swimming in the pool, and of
course 1 gave him plenty of massages. He had a massage at least couple
times each day really seeming to enjoy his time there." It' s what they
wanted to hear, not the truth of how disgusting I had felt over the whole
thing but they already knew the truth anyways, it' s what they had trained
me for in the first place.
Like two proud parents they both looked over me with such content.
Good, you did really well" Jeffrey complimented me. Turning around to
the boiling kettle, I finished Ghislane' s tea for her and the conversation
led on to other subjects. We all ventured up to Jeffrey' s office and out
came the infamous duffle bag that went wherever he did. I was given
close to a thousand dollars for my time in Santa Fe, more than what I
thought anybody at my young age could make for a couple days of work.
It was fulfilling the obscene vulgar needs of the so- called privileged that
earned me so much.
Chapter 18
I spent the next few days in New York, venturing out to do some
shopping therapy. I loved the eccentric parts of the city. Every street was
different but the same energetic vibe filled all of them, animated with all
different walks of life. Hanging out at coffee shops reading the newspaper
or a good book was a favorite pastime while in the big apple. Being close
enough to get back to Jeffrey for when he needed me but also far enough
to get away from all of it. Most of the day slipped by without being
missed and 1 made my way back to Jeffrey' s.
Making one last pit stop, I walked into an old bookshop to browse at
their assortment of old titles. I wasn' t in any hurry so I took my time
reading the backs of interesting looking books. I bumped into a girl
looking down the same aisle I was down. " Sorry, I' m so clumsy" she was
apologizing for my mistake. " No, no, it was. my fault, I wasn' t looking at
where I was going. I get so wrapped up with my nose in a book and trip
over my own two feet if I' m not careful enough." We were both giggling
now and I further introduced myself to her. Her name was Valerie or
Vickie or something like that, anyways she was a student at a school for
hairdressing nearby. Chatting away both young and similar interests in
each other' s choice of reading we found it easy to speak with one another.
She wasn' t from around here only being in the city for the last two
months, her parents hated her being here, but were also supportive in her
big decision to move from the countryside in hopes of her accomplishing
her own dreams. Aside from not having her near them, they just wanted
her to be happy and supported in her big decision to move to the city,
helping her pay some of the way.
She was a pretty girl with cherry red hair and soft white skin. Her long
legs were emphasized by the short flowery dress that complimented her
hourglass figure. She would definitely fit the pro quo for going down in
one of Jeffrey' s little black books. Only imagining the look on his face
upon meeting her I could already see his sly grin spread from ear to ear.
Knowing exactly what he would do with her and the very thought of him
tarnishing a sweet country girl such as herjust couldn' t be done. It was
the beginning of a turning point in my life that started with realizing I had
a choice at hand and the effect I could have on one person alone_ " I must
be off, but it was really nice to meet you." Bidding her goodnight and
paying for my books I turned around with one last glance over my
shoulder and said. " Good luck in the city!" Leaving that bookshop was a
small step in a growing abundance of larger strides to come. Turning the
corner onto 72" d street I had an undeniable feeling in the pit of my
stomach again but this time it wasn' t the familiar hurl of anxiety I was
used too after I had done something I had wrong that I had regretted, it
was a new feeling of pride and inner strength. I quite liked it a lot, I held
my head high and smiled on the inside when Jeffrey asked me how my
day was and what I got up to, not mentioning I had let one girl slip on
bye.
The icy winter winds faded away making way for the approaching
sunny days that blossomed the colorful shades of spring. This was my
favorite time of the year. Making the most use of his island we spent
countless days of the increasingly hot days there. A constant array of
visiting guests and plentiful young women to flock around keeping them
entertained was the typical lazy afternoon on Little St. Jeffs. We ate,
drank, and played under the blue blanket of cloudless skies. To many this
lifestyle could seem idyllic, unless you were like me, the one on the other
107
108
G Copyright Protected Mnrerial
Copyright Protooted Matorial
CONFIDEN'11AL GIUFFRE004240 CONFIDENTIAL GIUFFRE004241
side of the fence where the grass wasn' t so green. Fortunately for me and
in some ways not, I was mostly expected to attend to only Jeffrey' s
insurmountable of sexual desires. Whereas the other girls who came one
day and went the next were promised a multitude of open doors just for
there meager participation in sexual acts with random men, only to be
disappointed when they realized they were nothing more than a single
night out for these geriatric senior citizens who most likely due
Alzheimer' s would sooner forget the entire experience let alone their first
name.
Surrounded by those in our world who many looked up too but not
seeing them from where 1 was standing, I didn' t have the highest of
standards in humanity. Then I met Al Gore and his lovely wife during
one of those many weekends away in the Caribbean. I was blown away
by the amount of attention Al doted on his wife, it was so sweet to watch_
They sat next to each other at the dinner table gazing into one another' s
eyes having an intimate conversation between them. Among the many
guests visiting that night and many of them young beautiful women, not
once did Al' s eye' s stray elsewhere, to them they were the only ones
there. He was up for a presidential election that year and he definitely had
my vote. Anyone that could show that much devotion and passion
towards his loved ones could have the same devotion towards running a
country, or at least I thought so. He only left his wife' s side to have a
walk down to the beach with the host of the weekend, Jeffrey. The
weather was still warm in the evening when I decided to break away from
the idle chat around the table and take a stroll too.
Not wanting to interrupt the conversation between Jeffrey and Al, I
walked in the opposite direction plucking the washed up sea shells
imbedded in the sand along the way. I enjoyed the serenity in the solitude
of the island. So many nooks and crannies to get lost in, I could imagine
that 1 actually disappeared from the entire world for a moment. By the
time I came back to the main house majority of the small crowd had been
long gone retired to their cabanas. Even Jeffrey had gone off to bed but
trust party animal Ghislane to still be up entertaining the remaining guests
left at the table, regaling her wild stories of people and places she has
embarked on. Trying not to make eye contact as I walked past them on
my way back to my cabana carrying my seashells inside my curled up
blouse, I wasn' t up for anymore pointless talking tonight. Emptying out
my seashells into a plastic bag, I went over my new treasures one by one.
I loved collecting odd things, shells being one of my favorites.
Ghislane and I shared that interest together. We would enjoy walk
abouts around the island searching for lost pieces of the remnants that
pirate' s had left behind centuries ago. It was mostly broken plates or
smashed glass from bottles of ale, and even occasionally getting lucky
enough to find some old coins here and there. It wasn' t easy though, both
loving a challenge it was perfect for us. Enduring many scratches from
the bushes we would be searching through and then the soar anus from
digging all day, but it was worth it in the end. After nearly two years of
collecting items and saving them, we made Jeffrey a mosaic table out of
the remaining pieces left from the era of the pirate' s day. Upon
completing it we were both astounded in our creation, it was such an item
of rarity and an interesting piece of work. When we presented it to Jeffrey
he was even impressed not only in our amazing finds but what we did
with them. The table became an important work of art that Jeffrey
showed off inside the main house' s lounge room, sparking a much
intrigue and table conversation by many of the visiting guests to his
island.
The next morning was good-bye for most of the visitors, leaving just
the usual behind. Soaking in the sun and living it up in the lap of luxury is
how the next few weeks were spent before having to get back to the
dredge of the city. Sometimes we' d have to go to St. Johns island for
Jeffrey to do some work in the office. It was so boring for me to sit in
their listening to him on the phone or coming down on some poor
employee for something stupid like not answering the phone correctly. If
I knew he was going to be awhile I would excuse myself for a bit of
shopping. Not that the Caribbean had much to offer in the world of
fashion but there was never an amount of bikinis one girl could own and I
loved all the little knick knacks one could find there. Flying back on a
private jet was the best part because I could transport just about anything
I wanted back to my apartment, which was already filled with an
assortment from my shopping ventures and collection of seashells from
the Caribbean.
The next big dinner party on the island had another significant guest
appearance being, the one and only, Bill Clinton. He is the only president
in the world to be dismissed from his role as a world leader because he
was caught with his trousers around his ankles and had the stain to prove
it. Publicly humiliating his wife and himself he retired from his title but
not from his lifestyle. This wasn' t a big party as such, only a few of us
eating at the diner table. There was Jeffrey at the head of it all, as always.
On the left side was Emmy, Ghislane and I. Sitting across the table from
us was Bill with two lovely girls who were visiting from New York.
Bill' s wife, Hillary' s absence from the night made it easy for his apparent
provocative cheeky side to come out. Teasing the girls on either side of
him with playful pokes and brassy comments, there was no modesty
between any of them. We all finished our meals and scattered in our own
different directions.
109
110
Copvnght Protected M- ­ l Copyright Protected Material
CONFIDLN I LAL 01UFFRE004242 CONFIDENTIAL CIUFFRE004243
Jeffrey wanted his evening massage before bed and Ghislane and
Emmy went to their office to talk about something, leaving our guest of
honor to find company elsewhere. Strolling into the darkness with two
beautiful girls around either arm, Bill seemed content to retire for the
evening. He wanted to have a hot bath before bed while I began the
massage in the tub. Starting with his feet and calves, he wanted to end the
night quickly. Never showing any restraint he sat up on the edge of the
tub and asked me to preform on him orally. I did my job, but that' s all our
relationship was these days, a dreadful job. Getting it over and done with
as quick as possible was my hope but I couldn' t let him pick up on those
vibes, to make him enticed I had to act like his little porn star, knowing
exactly how he wanted it. Only then would my duties be fulfilled and I
would be able to get back the reality of my complicated life. Before I
could say goodnight, Jeffrey had one more request. He wanted me to tuck
him under the blankets and fluff his pillows for him. Then I had to reach
under the covers and massage his feet while watching him fall asleep, he
even wanted me to wait like twenty minutes or so after he fell asleep
before I could leave. It wasn' t unusual for him to ask it but God I hated it,
never offering it I would always wait for him to request it. Once he was
snoring gently I wiped my hands clean of the lotion and quietly closed the
doors to his room. Making my way up the outdoor spiraling staircase, I
felt the breeze blow through my hair and looked up to the heavens. The
stars shown so bright out here in the middle of nowhere with no big city
lights to hinder their effect I could get lost in time staring into them. No
matter how far gone I really felt there was always something about a
simple caress from the wind or the reflection of the star sweeping sky in
the black glossy ocean that would always remind me of my fond love of
nature' s blessings.
Back in New York, there was nothing left of nature to adorn. It was a
dwelling for those who no longer saw the use for trees without cages or
blue skies without clouds of man made fumes and gases. Unfortunately if
we weren' t in the Caribbean, we were there in New York, Hardly going
back to Palm Beach, barely even seeing my family, my dog or T. J these
days at all. In my parents heads I was all grown up and educated in the
world of wealth not needing them any longer they would just wait for my
call once in a while to let them know how I was doing and that was the
extent to our restricted relationship. The road my life has led down never
has kept me close to home anyways so to me it wasn' t anything
unordinary but still a sad existence to be without a family of my own. It
would' ve been nice to be missed though, rarely letting myself think like
that. No room for pity in my heart, if I did, the floodgates could open and
I' d have enough grief in one lifetime to go around a few times that they
would' ve never been closed.
Jeffrey' s business was running well from the looks of his attentiveness
the office lie owned in the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Alan
Dershowitz, his colleague in finances and personal solicitor, a bird of the
same feather, I had seen hanging around the island and Jeffrey' s
Manhattan mansion, more and more these days. Alan' s taste for the
young and beautiful was a bias for a blooming business relationship
between him and Jeffrey. After an explicit session of Jeffrey' s vulgar
pilgrimage into my body, we were interrupted by a knock at the door by
Jeffrey' s good friend, Alan. I wrapped myself up in Jeffrey' s pink bed
sheets, which is the color preference he chose to sleep in because it
reminded him of the same color of his own words " Pussy", and covered
my face from the unexpected intrusion. Jeffrey got up and wrapped a
towel around his loins and answered the door completely calm. Opening
the bedroom door and letting Alan inside they began to converse about
business immediately, right in front of me. Jeffrey started to tell Alan
what needed to be done while he jostled some notes down quickly. I
peeked my head from underneath the covers thinking they were too
wrapped up in their work to notice me get up and dressed, and Jeffrey
turned back to me and told me to just stay there this would only take a
second. Going back to Alan he turned his focus back into work and
hustled out a few more orders before letting Alan out of the door and
returning his attention to me.
Sorry about that, work never stops and neither will the money coming
in. How else am I going to make a million dollars while I' m sleeping?"
Jeffrey chuckled as he sat back down on the bed next to me. I laughed at
his humorous and mostly true statement, then a strand of hair fell in front
of my face. Before I could get to it he put it back behind my ears and
sweetly stroked my face, for a moment we just looked into each other' s
eyes and he nearly seemed almost human to me. It was bizarre how he
could be so kind and gentle one moment and the second beforehand I was
being treated like no more than a common plaything left out for display.
Nothing more than an ego trip, Jeffrey got off on letting the ones he
wanted to know that he could own anything and anyone he wanted in this
world. Maybe for a brief minute I believed the sincerity behind his eyes
but that vision would quickly fade away and I would be left secondguessing
why I even fell for his deceitful tricks for a moment.
Jeffrey got up from the bed and asked me to join him for a shower. In
his bedroom, which was the entire top floor, he had a glass shower
enclosed underneath a glass skylight right in the middle of the room. It
was perfectly accessible feature for a man that loved both being clean and
nude, but still an odd feature at that. As I always did whenever I
showered with him, I lathered a loofa with soapsuds and would scrub his
body, up and down, in between his toes, even behind his ears and of
111
112
Copyright Protected Material
CONFIDENTIAL -
Copyright Protected Material
GIUFFRE004244 CONFIDENTIAL GIUFFRE004245
course his genitals area. The sunlight shown through the glass ceilings
into where we were standing, making the moment feel even more surreal
on top of the already popped Xanax I had popped before for breakfast
earlier that morning. Jeffrey was in such a lighthearted mood that day,
making funny cracks at me, and acting like a flirt. When I was finished
washing him he actually wanted to wash me too, which was another
totally out of his character suggestion.
For the rest of the day, he took me everywhere with him, the office and
then to a friends place, even just wanting to hang out with me for a while.
I wasn' t used to being treated like anything more than a dog on a leash,
when he acted like this it just completely spun me around confusing me
even more.
We were spending heaps of time together these days, a lot more than
usual. At the ranch we would do things together, alone, and not just the
usual perverted things 1 was accustomed to doing with him alone.
Horseback riding on his ranch during weekends away by ourselves and
movie nights snuggling up over a bucket of popcorn instead of having to
massage his feet during the entire film became his way to alter my
perception of my original notion that I wasn' t just his sex slave, I thought
I was finally becoming his friend.
When we went quad biking he no longer wanted me to take my own
bike, he preferred me to sit on the back of his, holding onto him tightly
and he even tried to teach me how to drive a manual stick shift car. He
was definitely trying to show a softer side of himself, different to the
stone cold slave driver I had to come to respect out of fear over the many
years. Still a hard image to change after all I had been through and seen
over the years I had been with him. Nonetheless he was still my " boss" so
I humored his attempts and matched his caring demeanor, giving him the
impression I was intrigued in our new kind of affair.
Chapter 19
His attentiveness led into the warmer months that commenced the
beginning of long summer days that I looked forward too. I couldn' t help
but enjoy his eagerness to see me more relaxed these days. He wasn' t
even bothering me to find alternate sources of girls for his twisted
satisfaction anymore and although I was still being used for his distorted
sexual enjoyments he further seduced me into believing I meant a lot
more to him than I ever did.
It all came to a sudden conclusion one sunny afternoon in the Caribbean.
Jeffrey pulled himself up to the ladders first step and climbed up the next
four steps to the top of the dock. His chest was heaving rapidly as he sat
down catching his breath. Ghislane was the next one up and then I
followed lastly behind them. To me it was an invigorating snorkel around
the shallow reefs within the radius of the dock, but to Jeffrey the half an
hour swim in the ocean was enough to overexert his ageing limbs. I took
off my snorkel gear and placed it in the storage bench, grabbing us a few
towels at the same time. Wrapping a towel around Jeffrey' s backside and
handing one to Ghislane, 1 sat down next to them on the dock and we
laughed how fatigued Jeffrey was, poking fun that he really is getting
older. A very touchy subject for the vain at heart but he didn' t seem to
mind it, probably knowing we' d never take the joke too far. We sat there
in silence for a moment, an odd silence at that. Jeffrey looked at Ghislane
and then Ghislane looked at me, placing me once again in the spotlight.
They both scooted closer to where I was sitting and I felt something
stirring in the air. The biggest turning point of events in all of my time
spent with them.
Jeffrey sat next to me and put his hand on my back and looked at me
with a certain kind of sincerity I hadn' t seen in him before. " I want to
first of all tell you that over the last few years you have shown me the
kind of devotion and loyalty that I believe is rare to find among people
these days, qualities I hold that high in regard." Bewildered by the whole
scenario I just nodded every time he paused, trying to grasp what his
intentions were getting at. He continued to praise my nature saying " I
hope you know my appreciation for your embracing of my lifestyle, you
have been achieving a name for yourself among the friends I have
introduced you to. Everybody says basically the same thing about you,
the same thing I believe. You are a delightfully funny girl who has
developed into a mature graceful young woman and I could think of
nobody else I' d rather have a child than with than you."
And just like that he created a whole new dilemma for me to face. In
utter shock from the completely unexpected proposition and before I
could even think of anything to respond with, Ghislane made the
finishing touches with the business end of the deal starting with the pros
before the cons " You would have around the clock nannies to help you.
Jeffrey would pay for a mansion of your choice in either Palm Beach or
New York" and as if the drumrolls were beckoning " and...
you would
have a hefty monthly allowance from Jeffrey' s bank account" Astonished
at their first offers I nearly took the bait. Then she continued to finish the
terns of our pre -agreement with `But you would have to travel with the
child where and when Jeffrey wanted you to be, and most importantly
you would have to sign a contract stating that Jeffrey and you are not
113
114
I_' Copyright Protected Materiel Copyright Protected Material
CONFIDENTIAL GIUFFREOD4246 CONFIDENTIAL GIUFFRE004247
monogamous and that the child would belong in Jeffrey' s custody in the
event of a falling out between the two of you." She kind of threw that last
one in there quickly, as if she could get away with me not hearing that I
would basically have to relinquish the rights to my own flesh in blood
and surrender them to a life of servitude and abuse with these people. My
maternal alarm bells went off straight away and I already knew my
answer. No way I could I do that to any poor baby, God only knew what
these monsters had in store for me let alone a baby, but it was an instant
reaction that saved me. " I don' t know guy' s, I mean I' m really young
and never really even thought about having kids yet. Wow, Ijust don' t
know." I slicked my hand through my hair nervously and took in a silent
breath. I had to go beyond what I was truly feeling and give them the
feeling that I' d never let them down. Putting an eager smile on my face
and sucking up my gut' s intuition I told them " You know what, let me get
my certificates in massage and have some time to prepare for this and get
healthy then next year we' ll all think about having a baby together." It
was crazy to even hear me say out loud but from the expressions on their
faces I had fulfilled their wishes.
Much reason to celebrate that night they were both in a cheery mood
around the dinner table. Except for me who had taken double the dosage
of Xanax to even cope with the high amounts of anxiety I had been
suffering from since we got back from the dock. I wasn' t sipping the
champagne that night, I was gulping it and when their moods turned from
cheery to raunchy later that evening it wasn' t hard for me to comply.
From the full effects of the state I was in I would' ve agreed to just about
anything, allowing them to treat themselves to ravishing the tender parts
of my body.
Over the next few weeks everything went on as it normally would, and
not another mention of their proposal. My birthday was only a week away
and I was turning nineteen that year. All I wanted was to get my
certificates before I got any older and get trapped into this life for good.
When my big day rolled around I was in New York with Jeffrey and
Ghislane. Sitting on my bed listening to MTV' s channel blare in the
background of my room I was painting my toenails when I was suddenly
buzzed on the intercom. It was Jeffrey calling himself to ask me to meet
him in his office in ten minutes. Perfect timing to let my nails dry I
thought to myself. Already contemplating his desire to come downstairs I
knew it had something to do with my birthday present but I was more
expecting the usual shopping money or piece ofjewelry, definitely not
what he had in store for me.
I knocked on the slightly ajar door to Jeffrey' s office and heard him
beckon me inside. " Hello, what cha up too?" I asked in a cutesy tone of
voice. Walking over to his desk he looked up at me taking his reading
glasses off while granting me a big smile. " Come over here and sit down
with me" as he ushered me to come sit on his lap. Pulling me onto him he
had a funny look on his face, like he had something really big to tell me
and was letting the anticipation build in the thickness of the silence.
What???" I laughed at the way he was looking at me now. " First of
all ... Happy birthday today." Was only the beginning of his
announcement and he proceeded to tell me " I know how much you have
wanted this for so long and you are more than deserving of it. You are
going away to Thailand to learn authentic Thai Massage and within eight
weeks you' ll receive a certificate for being a qualified Thai Massage
Therapist." Astonished at his attempts to see me get what I wanted, not
exactly the type of massage I was interested in but it was a start and a
first certificate for me to acquire. My eyes lit up and I threw my arms
around his neck, planting a big kiss on his lips, which I rarely ever did.
Wow, I don' t know what to say, this is beyond my wildest
dreams ... thank you so much!" I did well to let him know 1 appreciated
his grandeur offer. He went on to give me the details of where 1' d be
staying, the school' s schedules, and how much he loved Thai massage,
apparently it was the next big thing to hit the shores of America. He had
planned out an entire itinerary for me. I was to depart at the end of
August and he had already enrolled me in a class at " ITM Massage
School". I would only have a few days to settle in before I would be
attending classes five days a week over eight hours a day. He even had an
assignment for me to do while I was over there. I was to meet up with a
girl who was also being put up at the " Princess Hotel" where 1 was
staying. She had an Asian sounding name so I just assumed she was a
local girl hoping for an opportunity of a lifetime, if she only knew what
she would be getting herself into. If I decided that she met Jeffrey' s
particular quota of approval then she would be sent over to the U. S to
meet with him or one ofhis esteemed colleagues. Besides the guilt of
having to decide a stranger' s uncertain fate, everything else sounded
more than wonderful. Eight weeks gone from Jeffrey sounded like a
lifetime away and I couldn' t be more excited at this chance. It was the
opportunity of my lifetime and I wasn' t going to waste a second of it.
Ghislane came in a few minutes later and the look on her face told me
she already knew. I got up from Jeffrey' s lap and gave her a big hug and
told her, " This is so nice of you guys, Thank you so much!" She didn' t
share my enthusiasm of excitement. In a dull tone she responded, " I
didn' t have a thing to do with it, it was all Jeffrey' s idea but good -luck
anyways." She gave me her best impression of being human for a brief
second and hugged me back. It was just her way and I had come to accept
it. Depending on the level of slander her insults provoked was just her
way of telling you she cares without really ever showing it. Probably
115
116
I Copyright Protocted Mata 1] 1! Copyright Protected Motorial
CONFIDENTIAL GIUFFIC004248 CONFIDEN'I' LAL G1Ur12L004249
doesn' t make sense to most sane people but after all of the time spent
with them, I had gotten to understand a few of their quirky ways. Even if
I didn' t agree with them, they knew I would for their sake of opinion.
What did it matter anyways I thought, I had been degraded in every other
physical way what' s the difference from taking their mental abuse too.
Not the exact choice of employers I would' ve chosen over again if given
the opportunity but here I was and doing my very best to excel at their
demands.
I was sent home for a little over a week to pack for the long trip and
make the rounds visiting my family before I left overseas on my first trip
all by myself. It was great to see my family after such a long time away.
My older brother and his wife even came down to visit for the well
wishing of my departure. Everyone in my family seemed stoked at the
prospects my long journey had led me down. Here I was jet setting
around the world in my teens and getting paid to study the course of my
dreams at a cost that I only knew I would have to pay. It was a wonderful
get together with all of them around, a great way to remember them. If I' d
only known it would be the last time I would see any of them I would' ve
emphasized to my brothers how much I really loved them both and how
much I would miss them in the decade to come! But I didn' t know what
my future held for me, 1 had nothing planned out I was just hoping for the
right opportunities.
I also had a few good friends to catch up with before I went. Every
night was another party and by the end of the week I had drunken enough
to drown an Irishman on St. Patty' s Day. I was given the lists to all of my
friends email address and told to keep in touch. Yeah right I thought, I
was going to be too busy having too much fun to be thinking about sitting
on a computer emailing people, but I told them 1 would anyways. Save
myself the point of having to explain that in many different ways to a
group of already tipsy slurring teenagers. Out of everyone who was really
happy for me, T. J wasn' t. He hated the idea of me leaving him to have a
non- stop party in Thailand without him. He was just starting to seem like
he was coining good and I didn' t like having to leave him at such a
vulnerable state but in my young years I had already realized I needed to
do some things for myself and this was one of them. There was still a
huge amount of broken trust between us, trust that could probably never
be rendered again so I thought I was being decent enough letting him stay
at my apartment while 1 was gone, but he was not to drive my truck, at
all. I paid too much money on insurance for that thing and knowing his
driving record I didn' t want the risk of something happening while I was
gone for so long. He didn' t agree with me at all, throwing a grown up
tantrum all over my apartment. Hitting the walls and doors, shouting the
entire complex down, there was nothing I could say or do at this point in
time so I just put my dog on the lead and took her for a walk to calm
down the situation and give me some time to be alone. Mary Jane was the
only one I hated leaving behind. When we got back from the long walk
she barricaded my suitcase while I was packing the horrendous amount of
clothing that I always did. I was promising her I wouldn' t be long and
told her how much I loved her giving her a big hug. I choked back on the
tears that were swelling tip in my eyes, it was like she already knew the
night before I flew out to New York that this would be my final trip.
There was a commercial flight booked for me in the morning and I
needed the rest that night to fully recover from my binge of celebration
drinking. T.J crept into bed later that night and tried to redeem his
behavior with sweet nothings and dry humping my backside. It did
nothing for me sexually. I didn' t feel like that for him any longer and the
sooner he realized that, the better he' d be off. I told him I wasn' t up for it
and he picked up a pillow and slammed the door behind him_ It didn' t
matter I told myself, the next day I was off and wouldn' t have to deal
with him or anyone.
T.J caught a cab with me to MIA, the airport in Miami. He walked with
me to the furthest point he was allowed to go by the security gates and as
we stood in line together it was almost heartbreaking seeing him cry. I
told him I' d try to call him everyday, attempting to give him optimistic
ways to look at this time away from each other. In the end he had me
crying and I had to give into my remaining feelings 1 had for him. One
last kiss under the x- ray bridge and he vanished out of my sight as 1
furthered down the terminals long hall.
Chapter 20
It was only a short flight to New York and I just couldn' t wait until next
week when I' d be jetting of to an exotic destination all by my lonesome
self. It was all I could think about talk about and dream about, finally my
break. Ghislane did what she did best that week and prepped me for
everything I could imagine tinder the sun. Do' s and Don' ts, emergency
numbers and western union locations were among some things on the list
she gave me. Like I said, she showed her caring side in other ways.
There was also the name of the girl I was supposed to be meeting, the
room she was in and what dates she would be staying there.
When I got out of Ghislane' s office I was instructed to meet Jeffrey in
his office. She had to stay back for some paper work that she had to catch
up on pronto. Making my way up the red and gold trimmed carpeted
117
118
L Copyright Protected Material
Copyright Protected Material
CONFIDLN' I 1AL CIUFFRE004250 CONFIDENTIAL GIUPFRE004251
staircase I prepared myself for some major sucking up before I left, he
would be expecting it for his recent generosity, or so I had thought.
Opening those familiar heavy doors the first thing I saw was an
unfamiliar face standing over Jeffrey' s shoulder.
She was a tall girl with blonde hair twisted up in a professional looking
knot. Her big smile was flashing at him with hints of her cheekiness to
come and she was dressed to kill with a short tight grey skirt and a
matching suit jacket over her white buttoned down blouse, revealing her
voluptuous ample cleavage. She looked like the old college professor' s
wet dream. When she introduced herself to me, a thick Czech accent
presented itself. Her name was Nadia Marcinkova and Jeffrey looked just
about as smitten as a victim of a love struck arrow from no one but the
cupids themselves. Jeffrey further introduced her as his new assistant and
masseuse while 1 would be away, barely taking his eyes off her for one
second. It was a bit of a blow to take, being so easily replaced but also a
part of me already knew this was expected off someone like him. Good
for him I thought to myself, why should I have bitterness over someone I
never had intimate feelings for and knew had never really cared for me in
the first place. Kissing her on the cheeks and telling her my name, I was
doing my best to grin and bear it. We hugged for a brief show of
uniformity but it was just that, a show for Jeffrey to see. When he was
away for the moment or she wasn' t busy hanging off his every word, the
way we all started out, she would snub me off to only head off in another
direction. A real bitch if anyone was to ask me but no one would anyways
it wasn' t my job to like her.
Over the next course of days it was my task to show her some of my
techniques in massaging Jeffrey and the erotic side of finishing it off.
Nadia despised me even more when Jeffrey told her to follow my lead
during the massage as she tried to take over and do her own thing a few
times. To me it was quite funny her competitive side, I had nothing more
to prove so watching her put on an act of seduction and scream out her
every body function during a faked orgasm was nothing but entertaining
in my eyes. After a few sessions together it was my time to be off on
another adventure far, far away from here or from the chains that I wore
for way too long. Jeffrey had someone else to fit the chains that kept me
so close to him. Even though she wasn' t the nicest of girls I still couldn' t
help but feel sorry for her. No girl should belong to someone out of
servitude, but unfortunately it is the way our civilization has been for
many centuries before us and I don' t see changing any time soon or as
long as perverts like Jeffrey are allowed to walk around freely and
procure our daughters off the streets all because he' s got a lot of money to
pay many, many, many people off.
Throw out your confetti because here I come Chang -Mai!! My
celebrations started the second I landed, it didn' t take me long to make
myself aquatinted with a few fellow travelers and find the hot spots of the
hustling city. It was like nowhere I had ever been before. The streets were
lined with stalls offering an assortment of souvenirs, clothing, and knickknacks.
Everyone lived so freely and was in such great spirits. The parties
raged on until the wee hours of the morning and people became best
friends over night. From the second I got there I knew Thailand was
going to be a lot of fun and 1 was right! Popping bottles of champagne,
dancing all night to the beat of every club' s rhythm' s along my way and
carrying on like it was my birthday... every night was a repetition 1 could
definitely get used too. During the day 1 was a real good girl, the teachers
pet even. Showing the credibility of my experience in massage from over
the last few years and already ahead of the class the teacher was using me
to help instruct the others with demonstrations. Mostly in a class full of
males it wasn' t a surprise that I made friends with quite a few of them,
some of them with ulterior motives, but for the most part the sleazebags
were none of my concern, I had already dealt with a lifetime of them to
be able to spot one out and steer clear of his approaches. Out of the entire
class I had made fiends with only one girl from Wisconsin. She was a
plain looking girl with big brown puppy dog eyes and a long drawn out
accent. Her first time leaving the States or Wisconsin itself for that matter
so it was easy to acknowledge that she was a little taken aback by all of
the bustling city life so becoming her friend felt like I was doing a good
deed showing her around the hot spots of the Chaing- Mai nightlife.
Eventually I even ended up inviting her to stay with me at my hotel. She
was running out of money to party every night then pay for school on top
of her accommodation, it was all becoming too much out of her small
budget. So I thought about it and offered her a bed in my room, I had two
of them anyways. Plus she was a really nice girl and if I could help make
her first time out of the country an unforgettable experience then I was
also gaining something from it as well.
The first month in quickly passed me by. Having such an incredible
time on my own and putting my heart into learning Thai Massage it
seemed to just fly past. Routinely I had to call in and check in with
Jeffrey and Ghislane letting them know my whereabouts and progression
in class. Counting down the time left until my course finished Jeffrey was
anticipating my departure back to New York. " I can' t wait to get my first
Thai massage from you. I' ve got you booked to come straight back to
New York for my first one as soon as your course finishes next month."
His eagerness put a twisted familiar knot in my stomach. Reminding me
of the dream I have to awake from soon and the reality of the certain
homecoming I would be arriving to. " It' s such a great course, thank you
119
120
I I Copyright Protected Material
Copyright Protected Material
CONFIDENTIAL OIUFFRE004252 CONFIDENTIAL GIUF171ZE004253
so much for sending me here to learn this. You are going to love my new
area of expertise! I am having such an amazing time over here!!" I had to
let him know how much I appreciated what he had done for me and he
loved the head swell that it would make him feel as well. Hating the
thought of going back to him, I wasn' t going to let that put a damper on
my spirits while I was still out there. It was my time to party harder than
ever before. Every night was a new adventure for me. Chang -Mai was a
maze of places to get lost in and the vibrant city was my playground. The
way 1 saw it this was my last chance to get out and break free, letting
loose my inner girl it felt so good to take the lead of my own life.
Chapter 21
It was an average evening getting ready in front of the bathroom mirror
on just an average Sunday, though unbeknownst to us girls as we sat
there chatting away carelessly, this night was already written in the stars
for me. It was a very long time ago now when I was still a young child
that I sat looking up to those same stars from my bedroom window with
my hands pressed tightly together as I cried for God to hear my prayers.
All I asked him for was death. My precious life was already such a
hopeless battle that I felt too small to fight alone for. Begging him to
deliver me from this cruel world I would pray for all of my pain would to
away for good. My only clause in my prayers was the possibility that
there was somebody in this wide world that I was meant to love,
something much bigger than 1 could have even imagined yet. This
invocation of mine was forgotten about long ago now, until tonight -
1 wish I had known that night I sat crying beneath the stars that it
would all be different one day and that I hadn' t sold myself short to the
accustomed lifestyle I was brought up to believing was acceptable. It was
this night my very soul was about to cosmically collide with the man I
was always meant for, the man my heart already belonged to and would
know from the instant we met. This night would be the first day to the
beginning of my new life to come.
I blushed my cheeks and put on my mascara before me and my
girlfriend headed out to hit the town. We were dressed to kill and looking
for something to do when we ran into a few of our class mates at one of
our favorite drinking spots. They were meeting up for some drinks before
a Muay- Thai kickboxing tournament. It sounded like fun when they
invited us along to watch it with them. The massive crowd lined the street
where the fight was being held and once I got inside the arena it was push
and shove to try to find a spot to watch from. The friends that we were
hanging out with were meeting up with another group of guys that were
training for the kickboxing tournaments that we were watching.
Then it happened it was the first moment I laid eyes on the man that
would love me for the rest of my life. I wasn' t expecting the most
amazing time of my life to happen right there and then but it did and I
would never be the same again. Destiny fell right smack into my lap and
there was no stopping it! It wasn' t just his smoldering appeal that was
obvious at first sight it was the entire package of mannerism and chivalry
that made him stand out of the crowd. Stepping right out of the pages of
the fairytales 1 used to read, he was nothing like I had ever come to know
before.
Watching him from a close distance he was playfully shadow boxing
one of the guys from my massage class and it was at that moment that
this handsome stranger first caught me staring at him. From top to toe this
athletically built man was intriguing to watch, I couldn' t take my eyes off
him like I was magnetically drawn to his power of attraction. He further
interested me when he wasn' t acting like the majority of harping dogs
that would jump at the eyes I was giving him now. Instead he coyly
played hard to get, making me work for any conversation with him. The
fight started and the men were going bezerk, screaming at the fighters in
the ring offering either fighter their support or discrimination depending
on whom they were batting for. It was like watching a primitive scene out
of the days when the cavemen ruled the earth but it was as equally
alluring to watch unfold, the sweat, the blood and the absolute brut
fascination of it all.
After the fight and all of the men revved up from the fight, I suggested
that we all head to the pizza joint in front of the Princess Hotel where I
was staying for a late night snack. I made it my goal to make myself
known to this appealing stranger. In the tuk-tuk on the way there I made
sure I sat next to Robbie. Scooting my knees closer and closer to him on
the short ride he continued his chase by moving further away from me, a
game of cat and mouse that I Loved. When he answered back the array of
my questions he had the cutest Aussie accent that drove me absolutely
wild.
Gradually we got to know each other better over a pie of peperoni
pizza and two can' s of coke. Too me he might as well have been the only
other person in the restaurant, he knew he had my undivided attention and
I think he liked it. There was no one like him that I had ever met before
and I knew there was no other who could make me feel the way that 1 felt
at the first sight of him. Being charming and suave was all an accidental
front. It was easy to read him. Immediately it wasn' t hard to see his sweet
side, holding the door and pulling out my chair at the restaurant, I was
1'21
122
I Copyright Protccted Mamrial Copyright Protected Matodal
CONFIDLNTIAL GIUFFRE004254 CONFIDENTIAL GIUFFRL004255
already smitten. After pizza he walked me across the street to my hotel
where we made plans to meet up again. There was no kiss goodnight or
anything like that. No, he was too polite for that, he wanted to prove
himself different and different he was. Walking through the hotel' s
revolving doors I watched as he walked away and when he was finally
out of sight, I sung my way up to my room. Floating on cloud nine I was
free falling into a deep pit of love.
The next day I attended my class as usual but not able to concentrate
like I normally did, too excited about when I' d be seeing Robbie that
night again. As I walked out of class that afternoon even the teacher
noticed a difference in my performance and asked me if I was feeling
well, " On top of the world actually" I smiled back at the old instructor
and it wasn' t far from the exact truth either. I hadn' t ever felt the
churning of butterflies in my stomach and the constant thoughts of
anyone else like this before. My girlfriend and I got a tuk-tuk back
together as we usually did after school and I couldn' t shut up about the
night before. She was laughing at my girlishness telling me that anyone
who just met me would think I had never been let out before, but little did
she know that I had more than my fair share in experience with men and
never had I ever come across anyone that could make me feel this way,
and what spun me out even more was that it was such an instant
attraction. Never considering myself a person who believed in the
existence of "Love at first sight", but a true romantic deep at heart, I
couldn' t help but believe in it now. He is my walking proof of it!
Waiting for me in the hotel lobby was the very person I couldn' t stop
entertaining the thought of all day long, there he was looking ever so fine
standing in front of me now. The whole entire world faded away and all
that was left for the moment was this complete stranger I had only met
last night but somehow captivated the very essence of my very heart.
There was no need for me to try and act cool now. He already knew I was
snagged hook, line and sinker. Smiling all the way up the many stories in
the elevator up to my room he took notice of the posh d6cor of the hotel.
You should see where I' m staying, this is a royal palace compared to it"
His first impression of me he automatically thought I was going to be a
spoiled high -maintenance girl that had money coming in from a parents
hefty trust fund. Casually he got to find out through many deep and
meaningful conversations that my life' s grim story wasn' t that pretty at
all. For some reason beyond my knowledge I had the need to tell this
stranger almost everything.
Wanting to be judged and looked down upon for everything about my
life that I knew was wrong and being the first time I had spoken about my
years with Jeffrey to anyone honestly like that ever before, I had felt like
1 had deserved punishment. He offered me no judgment, instead only
gave me his warmth and compassion as he wrapped his strong arms
around me, making me feel so meager and small but so safe at the same
time. Encouraging me to see the worthiness of myself and leave that life
behind, he adorned me with a kind love that I wasn' t accustomed too.
He took me in and made me feel so at home. It was like I had known
him my whole life. I couldn' t bear to be without him another second
while I was away on this dream holiday. When he wasn' t training for
Muay- Thai tournaments and I wasn' t in school, nobody would ever see
us. Too enveloped in each other in my hotel room to care about anything
else. Which is why I asked him to come stay at my hotel with me, seeing
he was never at his own anyways. My girlfriend was soon departing back
to Wisconsin, making my room more than available for him. Enchanted
by his words and tender touch, the way he made love to me was again
like nothing I had experienced before. Even down to after sex as 1 had
been routinely instructed by Jeffrey to get up for a wane washcloth to
clean his genitals afterwards, he refused it, telling me I was no longer a
slave and that he didn' t want me acting like one. He' d just rather lay
down together afterwards and repeat our sweet nothings with many
adjoining kisses.
On our third night together with nothing but the bed sheets between us,
we had spent all night looking into each other' s eyes sharing such an
undeniable passion for one another. In the deepest caverns of my heart I
knew this man would give me what I had never experienced
before ... True love. We were still laying in each others arms when the
orange and pink sunrise began to rise slowly through the peak' s of my
rooms windows, enticing me to come feel the freshness of the morning' s
chill. Only the bed sheets were still wrapped around my body as I went
the balcony. It was overlooking the city in a valley surrounded by
mountainous tops. My thoughts began to rampage through my head and 1
knew this could only be a dream for me. It was getting serious now, too
serious for the life that I led back home. As if he sensed my anxiety
Robbie walked up behind me and wrapped his strong arms around my
waistline, gently kissing my neckline and pausing with his ever so
thoughtful stares and gave me the exact opening that I needed to expel
my thoughts. " Back home, as you already know, I am going back to
someone else, it' s my job, and as much as I really like you, this guy that I
kind of see is going to expect me to be putting him first, I am so sorry to
say all of this after such a wonderful few days we have spent together, but
you need to know this thing happening between us can' t get anymore
serious than what we have for now. I am so sorry" I looked down to the
floor with nothing else I could say to alter his perception of me now that 1
had told him the troth and it never dawned on me that thought he
wouldn' t be out the door before I could even finish my sentence but he
123
124
I; Copyright Protoctcd Material
Copyright Protected Material
CONFIDENTIAL GIUFFRE004256 CONFIDENTIAL GIUIFRE004257
continued to surprise me with his efforts to make me believe we were
more than just friends with a summer crush. " You see... your problem is
that you don' t see what I am looking at right here in front of me, a
beautiful girl who is completely lost in a game that she has no control
over. Get out of it now, take my hand and follow me back to my home in
Australia." I heard what he had said but I found it hard to comprehend
what he was actually talking about. " What?" I asked him with a look of
confusion on my face. " Your nobody' s property, you can do this. Marry
me." His statements got more and more profound as he went on.
Repeating the question he got on one knee and proposed again " Jenna, I
am in love with you and want to spend the rest of my life making you
happy. Please don' t go back to him. I know that I am the only one for you
and I will always treat you right. He paused for another second and
repeated his question " Jenna, will you please marry me?" My hands fell
into my face after that and without even letting myself think through the
answer, I let my heart do all of the talking. Looking back up at him I said
Yes!" I almost shouted the answer at him, as if saying it louder would
give the word more meaning. Wanting to believe him and everything that
he was saying felt like a vacation from all of the suffering and loneliness
that I had endured over a lifetime of abuse and degradation but knowing
what you want and getting it are two different things that rarely went
hand in hand ... or so I thought. All I knew from the brief period I had
known this stranger was that he was offering me a life and love down an
unfamiliar path and it was a gamble to believe a complete stranger but
somehow I knew he was right. My heart was beating so loud I thought it
was going to jump right out of my chest. With the earnestly in my reply
he picked me up in his strong arms and took me back to the bed and
reiterated his words in a more physical sense this time. Never had I felt
loved like this before, so swept off my feet and unable to even think, eat,
or do anything for that matter which would involve leaving the hotel
room without him.
Everyday after school would be my Robbie waiting to take me back to
the hotel room for another night' s passionate rendezvous, but a few
nights after his proposal, he had another surprise in store. He didn' t just
want to get married someday. He wanted to get married now, this week
even. I walked into the fabric store and was attended too by several
seamstresses who were already be expecting my arrival. I was there to
design and have fun designing my own dream wedding dress. While I
was busy picking out fabrics and having measurements taken I would
look away for a moment only to catch his tender eyes staring in my
direction. Such adoration behind his looks... could it be real? I would
often ponder it to myselfjust hoping for the gamble I was taking to work
out. I still had to believe in something better than what I was accustomed
too and here he was right smack dab in front of me.
Giggling at all of the lace and frills they were trying to dress me up in,
looking more like an antique porcelain doll than anything else I closed
my eyes and pictured the day that I thought would never come, starting to
imagine the kind of dress I would like to wear I envisioned a simple
sleekness, a complimentary figure hugging gown with a small train but
long enough to distinct it as an actual wedding dress. After we settled on
what we were going to wear for the big day, we would next have to
decide where we would hold the ceremony. Not before celebrating the
entire week beforehand though. We started our honeymoon early
celebrating every night spending our time between my hotel room and
sending our heads spinning on the dance floor at many different clubs.
Only with each other in sight, the dance floor was ours, we were out to
give each other something to remember each night by. I whispered all of
the things I couldn' t wait to do him once we got back to the hotel room
and watching him heat up on the dance floor I was never able to get
enough of him driving me crazy. Like a thirst I was unable to quench, his
lips were like a fountain of deep springs that I could never reach the
bottom of.
Seven days, exactly a week after his proposal l sat on my bed in distress,
contemplating what I would say to the man who 1 was about to call.
There was no nice way to go about it. 1 couldn' t last forever with him and
this was my one chance to get out of it for good. I was leaving him, never
to return to him ever again. I just had to go ahead and do it. Part of me
was hoping he' d be at least a little happy for me and the sudden change in
my life' s direction but the other part of me knew I was already asking too
much of him.
Calling his office in New York I was transferred to Jeffrey' s personal
office. He picked up the phone on the third ring, pausing before I could
get any of the words to come out of my mouth but I mustered up my
courage eventually and gave him my prepared spiel. Beginning with how
much I had appreciated everything he has done for me up until this point.
I hoped he would be understanding but he just wanted me to hurry up and
get to the point. Trying to contagiously pass on my excitement through
the phone lines, I finally screamed out " I' m getting married! Can you
believe it?" No reply was given only a silence on the other end. Trying to
make some conversation ridding the uncomfortable silence, 1 went on to
tell him about Robbie and how I had fallen madly in love with him over
the last amazing few days we' d spent together. The absence of sound
made my thoughts begin to run wild and to get some response I had to
ask him what he thought about everything I was telling him. Finally a few
seconds later his reaction to the news sunk in and his only and final reply
125
126
F; Copyright Protected M- 61 Copyrisht Protected Motorial
CONFIDLN' I LAL GIUFFRE004258 CONFIDENTIAL GIUITRE004259
until many years to come was " Have a good life!" With that statement he
slammed down phone receiver. Leaving only an echo of the dial tone to
answer back too. I was to paralyzed from the shocking response. " What
have Ijust done?" was the first thing that entered my thoughts.
Overwhelmed with guilt I felt like I was falling down a deep and dark
hole and then the tears began to flood in. Here I was standing at the dawn
of a new happy life for myself and I couldn' t see past how bad I had let
Jeffrey down not yet seeing the hold he had on me.
Like my knight on a white horse, in came my hero to soothe my
somberness. He rushed over to the bed where I was beating myself up
mentally and wiped the falling tears from my cheeks. " I take it that it
didn' t go so well... huh?" Sniffling through my sobs I managed to tell
him that " It doesn' t matter anymore all I care about is you and leaving all
of that life behind me!" 1 wrapped my arms around him and he asked me
in a halfjoking voice " Then why are you crying?" He got me almost
laughing now too " I guess it' s just so scary taking such a huge plunge
away from what I' m used too and taking such a big move to another
country. It' s just all so different and I' m just trying to comprehend
everything that is happening in such a short time." Always out to lift my
spirits his next comments made me gush in laughter " You think that was
a hard phone call wait until I call my Sicilian mother! Watch this, I know
exactly what she' ll say. First it' ll be a saga about how I' m killing her with
my selfish actions then it' ll be about how she' s going to kill herself for
doing such a terrible job raising normal children. Don' t worry though,
she' ll love every second of it. Wogs thrive off of the drama in their lives
and off everybody else' s for that matter!!" He was pretty much on the dot
when he told me how she' d react to the news. In the end after relentlessly
trying to change his mind, she sighed, " If it was going to be anybody to
do something as crazy as this, Robbie, it would be you!" It wasn' t a
blessing as such but at least she wasn' t threatening suicide any longer.
Calling the closest of our families the night before our wedding to share
with them our announcement wasn' t celebrated by any members of either
sides but that didn' t discern us one bit. My parents took it well,
considering their only daughter was marrying a foreign man that they
didn' t know from the next guy on the street and too top it off I was
moving to Australia, permanently. When I asked my Dad many years
later why they hadn' t put up a fight, he just simply replied that nobody
expected it too last very long. Fair enough, I thought. I don' t think
anyone did at first ... even us at our toughest times. We were a rare
attribute these days in the numb era we have all been accustomed to
living in, turning nothing into something, which I had also come to
realize, was the most precious gift in life... Love.
Falling asleep was easy to do in his arms that night. I laid my head on
top of his chest listening to the drum of his beating heart. I had never felt
like I was more at home than ever before in my life. He pulled me gently
in closer to him, letting me know that he was there for me even when the
lights went out and the thoughts would usually creep in. Amazing how he
knew what I needed without even asking for it. Wishing for something
like this my whole life I thought 1 was being such a fool in so many ways,
but I was so wrong. The way his pretty eyes looked at me with such an
understanding and compassionate sincerity made me want to trust his
words and believe the love that he was offering me was indeed real.
The next morning, Robbie was up and out of bed early to pick up our
tailored wedding suits and dresses for our big day at Doi Cept Temple.
His best friend from high school days that was travelling with him from
Australia met him in the hotel lobby at seven o' clock. He was going to be
joining us for the wedding as Robbie' s best man. He still hadn' t been able
to find black shoes to go with the suit, so after he dropped off my dress
back to me he was off again to try and find himself a pair of decent
looking ones. Overjoyed with excitement I was thrilled from the second I
kissed Robbie good-bye for the last time before we were officially
married. Looking in the same mirror only a week ago I was now a
different person, I felt like I was plunging into a bottomless abyss. Here I
go, I thought to myself as I plunged out the door letting the butterflies in
my stomach carry me all the way to my nearly husband.
I had to go to the beauticians that morning for my pre- wedding makeup
and dressing. The ladies who were doing my hair and face at the salon did
a great job making me feel so beautiful for my special occasion that every
girl dreams about their whole entire life. Requesting simplicity at best,
not wanting to go overboard with all of the wedding apparel they tied my
long hair up into a knot wrapping around it a veil of flowers made up of
baby' s breath and small yellow and purple budding flowers. I couldn' t
have dreamt it up better myself and when I met my husband to be at the
bottom of the mountain he stood before me speechless " You look so...
beautiful!" were his first words that his mouth formed almost whispering
them. He took my hand and we walked into the sky lift together. Behind
us followed an interpreter that Robbie hired to translate the Buddhist
Monks ceremony speech for us English only speakers and then his best
friend, who only moments before gave him the best mans speech about
being the last chance to walk away from this and not get married to a girl
he hardly knew, but my Robbie wouldn' t hear a word of it. He already
made up his mind the instant he proposed and I said yes, " I was born to
be with this girl," he told his best mate. " Alright then lets go do this
then!" Once he knew Robbie was sure in his decision lie was more than
ecstatic for him. We were slowly lifted up the tremendous mountainside,
127
128
1 Copvnpht Protected Material
CONFIDLN' I' IAL
0 Copyright Protected Material
GIUFFRE004260 CONFIDGN' 111AL GIUlTRL004261
surrounded by the floral green carpet of mossy grass that covered the
earthly skyscraper and falling fog, it was like being carried to heaven or
the closest thing to it! Taking my eyes off the scenery and catching him
adoringly staring at me again, I welled up with unstoppable tears. " I am
so lucky, is this really happening?' He squeezed my hands and replied
back " You' re the only one for me ... I love you!" relieving the anxiety
written all over my tear stained face.
Chapter 22
Getting out of the carriage we were greeted by good fortune from the
Gods above. A sun shower cascaded over us at we advanced into the
ancient holy temple. My tears ofjoy dried and my happiness was glowing
for all to see. The many visitors to the temple stopped and took photos of
the passing bride and groom, no other foreigners had ever been married
there and certainly anyone wearing traditional western wedding attire,
such a sight had never been seen behind these religious walls, we became
a permanent icon at the temple. The ceremony was done in the Buddhist
customs according to their ancestral accordance, and translated for us in
our own language. Both Robbie and I were anointed with a blessing from
the monk with a splash of water and seven sacramental bracelets, each
one representing another meaning to the longevity of our union together.
We signed our names in the Buddhist wedding registry of Doi Cept
Temple and officially became Mr. & Mrs. Roberts at least officially in
our hearts knowing the laws of Australia only recognize certified
weddings, meaning when we got back to his homeland we' d have to
make a rum for the courthouse. This was our real wedding though, perfect
down to every detail. Walking up to the highest point of the temple to the
balcony hanging over the edge of a cliff side over looking the city of
Chang -Mai, we knew we had found the perfect spot to recite our vows of
love to each other. Providing everything for me and more than I could
ever ask for, his vows were to love me unconditionally until death do we
part, shelter me from all the cruelty in the world that I was so accustomed
too and to be like the bear, because the bear never forgets. Tears once
again streamed down from my eyes as he made this moment
unforgettable. Wiping the mascara fading underneath my eyelids whilst
giggling at my embarrassment I took his hands back into mine again and
gave him the vows that were the sacred prepared words from my heart.
My ears were thundering the sound of a million horses hoofs descending
downhill and my heart was beating so fast my words barely trembled out
of my mouth when I began to tell him how much he had changed my
whole life around and how I would dedicate my entire being to loving
him and only him until I blew my final breath.
I meant every word that I said to him, this was it for me, wanting
nothing more out of life than to be with someone like him to raise a few
kids together and grow old on the front porch letting the days fade its by.
I know it probably sounds boring to most and it would' ve to me as well
many years ago but after the life I had led, I had enough experience in the
real world for my liking and now all I want to do is to enjoy the
remaining days of my life for what it is... a simple and satisfying
existence. Our day was so special but not only to us, even too the Monk
that married us. Upon our descent down the lifts he asked if he could take
a photo with the bride and groom in front of their symbolic liberty bell
signifying the union between east and west_ It represented a lot for its too,
it was the commencement of a new life together and just the beginning of
battling each other' s past demons together.
Kissing the bridal party goodbye, who were just the local girls 1 had
met on some of our many nights out of having fun. 1 threw my arranged
bouquet of Thailand' s white wedding floras mixed with colorful orchids
to the screaming Thai women behind me and we were given one last
tradition to take with us, the release of caged doves. It was such an
incredible gesture, especially for me. Symbolizing their freedom as well
as mine I opened the cage' s door to let them free to decide our own fates.
As the wings on the birds began to spread open and they took their final
decent into the blue skies granting themselves freedom I knew mine had
finally come too. The relevance of watching them fly away and how 1 had
perceived my own day of marriage related to the identical feeling of
fleeing an entrapment of my own kind. I was liberated from the bounds of
slavery I had come to know over the many years 1 had spent with my fair
share of greedy perverted old men only to have serendipity mend my
scars with the powerful healing of what true love has to endeavor on.
As customary in the romance novels I had read as a young girl lie
picked me up in the hallway before our hotel suite and carried me over
the threshold, poufy dress and all. My arms were tightly squeezed around
his neck never once taking my eyes off of him until he revealed yet
another sweet surprise. Besides the cleaners tiding up my room while we
were gone they were also given instructions by none other than the groom
himself to pick the petals off the stems of red roses to place on our bed in
the shape of a giant heart. The rose petals led the way to where we
consummated our love physically and it was undeniably the first time in
my life I had really ever been made love too. Hours had passed by before
we thought about anything else besides one another' s words of arousal,
tantalizing touches, and lingering kisses. We ate a quiet dinner at a local
restaurant and went straight back to the arms of each other again, so
129
130
d Copyright I' rotcctcd M-- 1 U Copyright protected Material
CONFIDENT IAL GIUFFRE004262 CONFIDENTIAL GIUI FRL004263
profoundly in love with one another it was the ideal display of what the
honeymoon period" should have to show for. It was crazy, young and
energetic, just what it should be between two blossoming lovers.
The following morning we left the Princess Hotel, no longer under any
of Jeffrey' s financial privileges or control so to speak, continuing our
love spree in another dwelling of our own accord. Three days later when
we finally showed our face for the first time since checking in downstairs
in the new hotel lobby, besides to request fresh sheets and towels, the
entire staff of the hotel had a good laugh at our expenditure, from their
reaction it must' ve been nice to see a couple so affectionately fond of
each other.
Now we wanted to have another type of frm, Robbie had visited a
tourist agent by himself before we got hitched to book a honeymoon
itinerary for its to explore Thailand and beyond together, another surprise
he had in store for me. We left early in the morning and joined the
crowded bus for ourjourney beyond the border of Thailand to a village in
the war torn nation of Laos. When we got through the extremely armored
visa office eight hours off the beaten path, we then had to cross a flooding
river from a recent heavy downpour of rain in a slim banana boat that
looked like it could barely handle our weight let alone the excess of my
luggage that Robbie was so kind to trek around the world for me.
Unbelievably we did make it to the other side only to find that my
honeymoon in the tropics wasn' t exactly how it had been explained to
me. Naked children ran through the dirty streets, with one boy that
decided to release his bladder on the pathway where we were walking as
we passed by him on the way to our hotel. My doubts of his choice in
destinations became apparent after that sight. Robbie was getting hungry
after we hadn' t eaten the entire duration of the trip and being such a
rugged man he could digest just about anything. Deciding to stop on the
side of the road he ordered some kind of seafood dish... daring I thought,
settling for some toast and jam, something safer I thought. Then I saw the
lady behind the counter dip some plates in a dirty bucket full of dirty
water and then rinse in another bucket of water that didn' t look as bad as
the previous mud drenched one and then further proceeded to put my
toast and his food on top of them serving it to us all in a clear view. I just
couldn' t bring myself to even fathom it "I can' t eat that!" I mouthed in a
hushed voice trying to quietly make my point clear but was made public
with his loud mouth outburst of "Why not? Looks fine to me. You have
to try and eat something, you haven' t eaten all day!" I know it was just
his caring side that was trying to force me and to top it off he is Sicilian
and they' re all about eating so it was our first debate and now we were
officially married with many more marital conflicts to subsequently
follow. Two head strong and stubborn people both with the right
intentions but still recovering from old wounds. It was only natural and
important that we fought just as much as we made passionate love
together. Countlessly proving to one another the true intentions of each
other loves but sometimes in not so seemingly actions.
Finally arriving at the hotel it was like a scene out of a horror flick. We
were showed up to the room that looked like someone had been brutally
killed in. The bed sheets were torn apart and the bed was stained with
blood from some poor helpless victim. Nearly vomiting at the pure sight
of the room and the stench that accompanied it, I was now tearing at the
thought of even staying here for a single moment longer. " No way!" I
told my new husband and from the tone in my voice he knew 1 was
serious. Not that I was not denying the fact I have never been an outback
type of girl. I was fine with that impression, I am no snob but give me the
simple luxuries of a clean bed and a shower then I' ll make myself at
home, but this was just the epitome of filth and even possibly an act of a
horrendous event but who knows, the lady who showed us to the room
seemed fine with it passing it off as a hooker on her period. In some ways
that was even worse..." Yuk... Okay Robbie it' s time to go ... now!" we
were heading back down hill back to the passport center declaring our
passage back into Thailand. Considering us a risk due to the short time
we spent crossing the border and back, the officials held us at gunpoint
while others rummaged through our luggage for drugs or whatnot.
Finding nothing of course they released us and stamped our passports,
making us good for another three months if we wanted. We were thankful
for escaping with our lives alone, although we had nothing to hide but
still an endearing experience nonetheless in the first days of our
honeymoon of all days.
Chapter 23
Arriving in Koh Samui for finally a bit of relaxation in the tropics, it
well,
was my idea of how a holiday should be, sunny warm, and clean...
clean enough. We lived it up like kings for the next six weeks. Making it
an ideal way for two strangers to properly get acquainted. Dancing into
the wee hours of the night and making love in the blistering heat of the
sunny days we discovered everything on that island... mostly being each
other. We made friends of all sorts, mostly travelers, but everyone the
same in being taken aback by our fairytale romance. With our captivated
eyes never straying too far from one another anyone could easily see the
strong chemistry between us.
Trying to find the woman in me wasn' t difficult, as 1 took to the bounds
of marriage with such ease, no longer a girl I loved the idea of being a
131
132
Il Copyright Pr tc— d Material
Copyright Protoctod Material
CONFIDEN77AL GIUFFRE004264 CONFIDENTIAL OIUITRE004265
wife and belonging to a husband like Robbie. Marriage was bliss for the
duration of our honeymoon until we had to ride coach on our way to
Bangkok Airport to fly out to Australia. Chatting away with always so
much to say to each other we watched a movie and finally got
comfortable leaning up against each other as pillows. We both fell asleep
on the long ride and when we woke up to the sound of the buses brakes
coming to a halt we initially realized my purse and Robbie' s wallet with
all of our money and cards in it was missing. Stranded in the city of
Bangkok was frightening enough as it was but too make matters worse a
lady looking in her mid -seventies, scrawny and hunched over from an
obvious lack of nutrition lifted up her skirt to a passer- byer with a she -
male hanging off his arm and began smacking her vagina blaring out
Look! No cock... Pussy, pussy! Only five baht" repeating herself many
times over the man just walked on past as she sat back down on the curb
waiting for the next alluring customer_ Robbie and 1 shook our heads in
disgust and disbelief, things could really be that bad for someone, I would
know best as it wasn' t far off the life Jeffrey had been training me up for.
Completely broke at two o' clock in the morning and with no one to call
for help, I panicked right away. Robbie rubbed my back and his tired eyes
trying to make the situation better. Luckily we had made friends with
some really nice people from the resort on the island who gave us about
two thousand baht when they saw how devastated Robbie and I were.
With just enough money to rent a really cheap room for the night at a
backpackers hostel and pay for a taxi to the airport the following day, we
were saved.
Early the next morning we were off in separate planes, since Robbie' s
ticket was pre -booked and no available seats left for me to join him meant
we would be landing in Australia separately. Fortunately we had found a
corresponding flight that arrived within the same hour of each other but I
would have to make a stop over to the Philippines. The lengthy hours of
the duration on the flight seemed to stretch on with only the thoughts of
the journey ahead of me I couldn' t wait to get back to my husbands
loving arms. The trip was going well, sleeping the majority of the flight
until I had to change planes in the Philippines.
After the plane landed and before any passenger was allowed to get off
we were handed a declaration statement that informed us that if we were
carrying any drugs or weaponry, we would be arrested and face charges
with death as the ultimate penalty. Not that I had anything to worry about,
but what a thought to willingly sign over your life. I got the chills
handing over my signed declaration and traveling documents to the
customs officer. Obtaining my passport he additionally asked to see my
departing ticket. No problem I thought, just I had done many of times,
and I handed over the requested information. The officer looked me over
and got on the phone immediately which sounded like a phone call to his
superiors but I couldn' t tell since it was in another language. A brief
conversation but long enough to get me thinking, he then called over two
guards who took me by the arms and brought me into an empty room but
for a desk and three chairs to be interrogated. No one would tell me what
was going on they all just scattered around in frenzy, ignoring all of my
hysterical inquisitions. Leaving me by myself and alone with my thoughts
I couldn' t help but panic even worse now.
This was a total bombshell of confusion on my part, what had 1 done
wrong? Minute' s later a large -framed women in a green uniform entered
the room with the guards from before and sat down across from me with
a stern look in her eyes. She placed my documents on the desk in between
us. Not saying a word to me she was waiting for me to give her an
explanation for something. " Can you please tell me what this is about,
have I done something wrong?" I asked her politely, trying to restraint
any animosity towards her. Her reply sounded as grim as she looked.
You have been in Thailand for three months and now you have only a
one way ticket booked to Australia with no visa. What exactly are your
plans once you get there, Ms. Roberts?" To myself I wondered what
business it was to her, don' t people travel with one- way tickets all the
time? Knowing I was in no position to be able to say anything like that or
even at all I just gave in nicely and told her my intentions to travel over
there. Crying through my entire explanation I wasn' t sure if I was going
to even make my flight now. She had to think about everything I had told
her for a moment, deciding whether or not she would grant me
permission to meet my husband in Australia or send me back alone to
Bangkok. With only time on my side she had to make a hasty verdict
now. One more question had to be answered before 1 was let go, she
wanted some proof. " If you have just got married can you show me your
marriage certificate then?" This didn' t help my stories credibility at all
seeing that we were married in a Buddhist temple and given woven
bracelets instead of certificates. Explaining to her that I didn' t have one to
show her yet but was already aware that I would have to obtain a legal
marriage certificate through a courthouse upon my arrival in Australia to
stay there legally, it was only because of my husbands beliefs we wanted
to get married in a Buddhist ceremony. She must have shared a common
interest in religion or something like that as she finally cracked a smile
upon the photos of the wedding day that I showed her and carrying in my
purse since getting them developed, if she wanted proof, well this is all I
really had.
Handing me back my documents and ticket I was now free to leave but
she wasn' t leaving me much time to run through the airports terminal to
get to my departing plane. Expeditiously bolting through the busy airport
133
134
0 Copyright I', -- d MM ­,, I 0 Copynght Protectod Maml'10I
CONFIDEMFIAL _ GIUFFRE004266 CONFIDENTIAL GNFFRE004267
my adrenaline was still pumping from the previous encounter with the
officials of the Philippines who had enough power to condemn me if they
had felt like it. I caught my plane in the knick of time and once I was
settled in my seat my thoughts went back to my dear Robbie and how
much I was missing him. I was just relieved that I was on my way to be
back with him again soon.
Looking out the window I could see the red earth beneath me. As I
landed for the last time I took notice of the first steps I walked off the
plane and onto a new soil for the first time. I had so much to be looking
forward too in my new homeland. In my heart I knew this was all I ever
wanted, this was going to be my haven. There was another surprise in
store for me when two elder strangers walked up to me and asked my
name. " Are you Jenna?" Nodding at their question they gave me their
first names and wrapped their arms around my neck. My new mother -in
law then said, " We are Robbie' s parents. We wanted to be the first ones
who welcomed you to Australia and into our family" It was my in- laws
meeting me for the first time. Handing me some balloons and flowers
they even had gifts for their new daughter -in law. While waiting for
Robbie' s plane to arrive we all chatted about many things like the flight
over from Thailand and the scare at the previous airport in the
Philippines. I asked them how they knew whom to look for? My father in
law laughed, saying recognizing me was easy from Robbie' s detailed
description. He told them to look out for a petite, young blonde carrying